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This investigation demonstrates that while the words are not present, the concept is extremely important in Scripture. The project then considers parallels to differentiation of self in church history, particularly noting the parallels with a variety of explanations of virtue ethics. The project then provides a summary of modern scholarship on this issue. It concludes that writers on these topics find the concept of differentiation of self to be helpful to ministry while also critiquing the secular concept of differentiation of self in BFST as needing the purpose of God’s kingdom and the grace of God for implementation.Finally, a model for ministry is developed in an outline and explanation of a seminar. 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'Being there' emerges as a phrase used by men, women, and children to describe the task of fathering, in contrast to the parental 'otherness' that characterizes unhealthy fathering practices. Four general landscapes--cognition, affect, communication, and action--present roadblocks to intimacy and opportunities for 'being there' for a father with his children. 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This project introduces the pastor in Monroe County, New York, to the Therapeutic Alternatives for Sexually Abused Children and Their Families (TASA) program.  TASA deals with incest, intrafamily sexual abuse through the court system and with therapeutic alternatives. The dynamics of an incestuous family are explored as well as ways in which the pastor may become an intervenor in an incestuous family.  The project concludes that incest occurs in greater frequency than most individuals are aware. The pastor is a potentially powerful source in intervention and in ministering to the families.  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Research shows an emerging theme of family idolatry.  This idolatry is contrasted with a demystified appreciation of the family's normal experience of crises. With this as prolegomena, and from the author's personal and pastoral experience, a six-principle definition of family wholeness is developed.  Preventable family crises are defined, and a framework for prevention of these crises is described.  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The theoretical work of Ivan Boszormenyi-Nagy concerning dialectic, loyalty and justice is evaluated and criticized.  He studies the family system from an existential perspective and integrates obligations to and responsibility for intergenerational loyalty commitments.  Case presentations are used to show how one pastoral therapist used IFTT from a Christian perspective.  Recognizing loyalty as the backbone of a family system, the pastoral counselor defines a family's understanding of loyalty obligations and constructs a framework which encourages psychological, emotional, and spiritual loyalty commitments to surface and be integrated in a healthy, relational context.  Understanding justice can help a pastoral counselor pray for a family's unresolved injustices. 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